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Dealing With an Empty Nest - LNL 137

admin Saturday October 1, 2022


Empty Nest Syndrome: Signs, Symptoms, & How to Cope (choosingtherapy.com)
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/empty-nest-syndrome/

How to Thrive with an Empty Nest: 33 Things to do After the Kids Leave Home (jane-athome.com)
https://jane-athome.com/empty-nest-what-to-do/

5 Tips for Dealing with an Adult Child Moving Home | HowStuffWorks
https://lifestyle.howstuffworks.com/family/parenting/parenting-tips/5-tips-for-dealing-with-adult-child-moving-home.htm

Plus this weeks dive into reddit

RELATIONSHIPS

After 2 years of dating and living together I am starting to hate him? Is that even possible? He has no job and definitely is not struggling to get one as he can easily be hired anywhere due to having job experiences. He refuses to, waits on government benefits and gambles it in a day or two. Frankly, I’m so sick of this repetitive cycle and we were supposed to go to this day festival market together and he supposedly gambled away everything and now he’s just sighing and whinging about having no money. Gets angry when I refuse to loan him money because I said he would definitely lose and he says I’m belittling him. I am at my wits ends and I am starting to resent him. I even told him today to go back to his mother’s house and he said “oh you really want me to go?” Literally sitting around all day as a 23 year old man and waiting for your girlfriend or government benefits is not the way to live life…I have had enough. I feel so suffocated. I used to find him so attractive now he just looks like a bum ass loser to me. How do I change him?

The past two weeks have been hell for me. We’re married since 9 years and have two beautiful kids. I caught my wife last week chatting with someone and when I confronted her she said it was just a casual talk with friend for stress relief and that it started a few months ago. As I dug up more evidence she has gradually admitted that the affair started four years ago and now has finally admitted that he was her ex lover in college. She has apologized and said that she will end for good and that she is ashamed of having continued it for so long. But I find myself obsessively rewinding all the things I did over the last four years. She had the affair through almost half of our married life, through the birth of our second child and even when I was hospitalized. How do I move past this?


I am a 54 year old man in a relationship with a 48 year old woman for about 18 months. We are both single parents, I have a 21 yr old daughter and she has a 25 year old daughter. Both daughters stay at home. We both own smallish houses ideally suited for 2 people, though hers is bigger (and of higher value) than mine. My girlfriend would like to quickly progress the relationship to marriage by:
a) moving in with me and my daughter or;
b) me selling my house to buy a bigger place and she would chip in with 20% of the price, but wants 50-50 ownership
in both cases she would be handing over her existing house to her daughter
While I’m ok with the idea of marriage, but I feel we should:
a) wait till either of the daughters have moved out or;
b) both contribute 50-50 to buy a bigger place; or
c) wait till I can buy a bigger place on my own
Please let me know if I am being unreasonable or if her suggestions are fair?

My partner (35m) over the course of our relationship has tried to put up cameras in the house on a few different occasions. Personally, I don't really like them. I (33f) work from home and don't want to be watched, which he will sometimes do. I know this because there's a talking option and sometimes he will say something to me, through the camera, randomly throughout the day. I don't like that. The camera set up in our living room started when we went out of town over the weekend. My dad was over for a day to bring our baby to daycare and watch over our older boys before they left for the day/evening. He was obsessed, watching the camera so much. Literally just watching my dad and the kids walk around hanging out. It was really weird. I didn't like that and I thought it was invading my dads privacy who was doing something nice for us (we wouldn't have been able to go away otherwiise) Now that we are back, the camera is still up. I unplugged it this morning and went back to the kitchen to see it plugged in again. He knows I don't like it. He had one in our room a few months ago and I told him to stop trying to put them up. Of course, I have nothing to hide, I just don't like the idea. Also want to add that he won't let me have the app to the camera, he told me only one user is allowed which I think is BS. How do I deal with this invasion of privacy?

PARENTING

Yesterday I was sick with the flu - had a fever, felt like I was hit by a bus, barely able to move, couldn’t even pick up my infant. I have two kids a 2.5 yr old and an 8 month old and yesterday my husband watched them all day. I am breastfeeding still so aside from feeding the baby, I was basically in bed the whole time. He did not cook a single thing, he did not do a single chore, did not clean a single dish. We ordered food all day. Am I expecting too much?

Is there a way we can get my child (7) to not share all our business with my mom? Under the heading of “this wasn’t a problem that existed when I was a kid”, he is able to do video calls on his tablet with his grandparents and he likes to chatter away about whatever. Usually once we get the call connected he wanders around the house and my spouse and I go back to whatever adult task we were doing. For the most part this is fine, I’m glad he has a better relationship with his grandparents than I had with mine (which wasn’t bad, it was just absent due to distance and long distance phone calls were $$$ then). But my mom requires firm boundaries or else she starts to meddle. I typically keep her on an information diet. That doesn’t really work with my child not having any sort of filter. Help!

My son is a sophomore this year. I've honestly never had to deal with this issue before. I've always had great relationships with my kids' teachers but this one has responded rudely right off the bat. I asked if my son could come in for help and the teacher basically said that he should not have taken the class (it's an honors class) and that no teachers offer help outside of class. First, my son is in and has been in other honors classes and has never had an issue before. Second, most if not all of his other teachers offer specific days that they meet with students. Some offer help every day in fact. Her making that statement is just untrue. How do I get her to help my son?

"I feel so bad I want to hit somebody" My 5 year old daughter has taken to saying this when she feels mad. She has never hit me (or anyone) when she's said it. She even sometimes says, "I know I can't" or "I know that's wrong" or something of the sort. I think she's just expressing that she needs to release some anger. Normal? Usually she stomps 2 or 3 times, usually on the way to time out since that is what has prompted the angry response, then breathe deeply a bit and is done. How else can I help her? The phrase is troubling!

SEX
My favorite pornstar is literally in front of me right now--SHOULD I FUCKING SAY SOMETHING?
I'm freaking tf out right now. There's this one amateur porn star I watch all the time, he's literally my fucking go-to and I'm staring at him right now in the flesh. I'm in a bookstore and he's in an aisle by himself and undoubtedly it's him. I want to say something so bad but I don't know if it'll be weird or not??? I guess a girl going up to a guy is a little less weird but wtf am I going to say, "Omg I love your work"?

A couple I’m friends with asked me to partake in a threesome with them. This is the third couple that’s asked. I’m quite flattered by the question, what would make someone ask? I always thought I gave off a bit of a frigid vibe. One of them were acquaintances/friends of friends and the other two are friends of mine. I’m on the spectrum, am I missing signs and hints being dropped and responding in a way that implies I’m down, or do people just go around scouting out people to have threesomes with and ask flat out to save time?

I'm not really sure how to word this exactly but I'll try my best lol. I've asked a couple similar questions to this recently and some of the advice was very helpful.. I'm not in a relationship nor do I want to be in one currently but I could see this affecting things down the road when I will be potentially ready. I've somewhat recently discovered I'm bisexual and with that came a lot of exploring of kinks and fetishes that I didn't realize even existed let alone me being into them (I was raised very sheltered). With women I'm extremely sexual and let my kinks be pretty well known. I'm extremely experimental with them and crave crazy unadulterated sex. With men I don't want any of that. I'm happy to please a boyfriend and be dutiful but I wouldn't want anything past vanilla sex and even that is pushing the envelope. So eventually when I do get into a relationship with a man do I grin and bear it? Is it not fair that I'm hyper sexual with women but not him? Do I go along to get along even though my heart isn't in it?

My girlfriend grabs my dick all the time, even in puplic places. It's not like a one second touch, she grabs it very passionately. But sometimes, when I initiate sex after she touches me, she would turn me down, saying she's tired. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset at all, I'm just confused. We still have sex quite regularly (2-3 times/week, except when she's on her period) so we're not in a dead bedroom relationship. But why does she act so sexually if she's not horny?

WORK

I work in an office and we are all remote except one day a week where we go in because we need to have someone covering the receptionist desk. I always struggle asking for days off coz I feel like im asking too much. Is this okay to ask for a day off for a family matter?

im a barber (19) and for months and months my boss and my coworker have pressured me to speak to customers. basically they always tell me to start convos with all customers while cutting their hair. but whenever my boss is gone i can speak all i want without being nervous cause usually i feel like he listens to the conversation. im sick to my stomach (nervous) for tomorrow… what should i do?

Hey! I work in a office environment where we sit together. I’m probably overthinking. There was a co worker who were saying that if there is alot on the customer service chat just let me know and I will hop on. And I was wondering where he was sitting and I put my head up just to have a look. That guy who were sitting just over the table from the other side decided to side eye me. He first looked away and then we both got eye contact. I felt it was personal. What does it mean when a co-worker side eyes you like that?

After realizing how precious time is, I realized that I barely have any free time in my day working full time and studying full time for $1K a month. Work is far and a big portion of my salary goes towards gas. I don’t need to work, but having a salary/allowance is nice. Should I quit?

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For the Love of Identity - LNL 136

admin Saturday September 24, 2022


Top 10 Gender Identities Beyond Male And Female - Abouticles
https://abouticles.com/gender-identities-beyond-male-and-female/

81 Types of Genders & Gender Identities (A to Z List) (2022) (helpfulprofessor.com)
https://helpfulprofessor.com/types-of-genders-list/

9 most unusual sexual deviations (iliveok.com)
https://m.iliveok.com/news/9-most-unusual-sexual-deviations_72895i15820.html

7 Common Sexual Fantasies: What They Mean, How to Try, and More (healthline.com)
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/sexual-fantasies


RELATIONSHIPS

I have been with my husband for 32 years and we have four children together (14,16,18 and 22). Over the years we’ve struggled with money (husband is a self employed builder) and I have got some biggish debts which are under control as I have a payment plan in place. He also has some debts. I have also always worked, some of the years part time, but I’ve been full time for the last 3 years and do overtime regularly. Anyway, my mother in law died a year ago and left my husband just over £200,000 which was totally unexpected. He said he wanted to pay off the mortgage (£45,000) and gave the kids £2,500 each. I really hoped he would offer to pay some of my debts (not all) but I feel really awkward about talking about it with him! He did pay the rest of the money I owed my dad for my car (£3,500) so he’s given me something. Any thoughts?

I 28F have been in a relationship with my partner 30M for about 7 years now. Of course when we first starting seeing each other we were going at it like rabbits, he couldn't stop touching me, wanting to be with me. He just seemed to be extremely attacted to me. We moved in together last year and everything, to me, has started to change. He doesn't touch me, doesn't compliment me, and doesn't seem to desire me...It's left me feeling like garbage. YES, I have picked up some weight but I don't think Ive changed all that much. So now we have sex once every two weeks and it feels like its obligatory for him becuase he seems so far gone from the situation, or I'm the one who is desperately trying to initiate any sort of intimacy. I've tried talking to him about it and he just says "I'm tired", "I dont feel good", "Not now". I feel like I'm convinving him to want to be intimate with me, which as I'm sure you can imagine doesnt feel great. Other than that, we still hang out, have conversations, more or less the "Best Friend" aspect is still there, if that makes sense. I know we are getting older, I know we have busy lives, but it feels off. Can you help me understand if I'm going crazy, or is my bf just not into me anymore?

So, I (23F) recently got married to my husband (29M) and we’re currently living with his family while our house is ready to move in. I didn’t feel too good yesterday so spent the day in bed and came downstairs in the evening. My husband was sat on one sofa, my MIL on the other, so I sat on the empty sofa to avoid spreading any virus. Shortly after, my husband came and sat next to me and asked if I’d rub his back. I told him I wasn’t feeling great and would appreciate if he could give me a rub. He said he would do when we got in bed later and moved back to the other sofa. His mum went and sat next to him and gave him the back rub he wanted, rubbed his head and neck while looking at me. I felt very uncomfortable. Then my husband started rubbing his mums back and shoulders. I was completely astounded that he refused to touch his wife but did for his mother. We later had a conversation where I expressed how it upset me and I felt embarrassed that he very clearly showed his mum she gets what I don’t. He said I was overreacting and he didn’t feel comfortable rubbing me in front of her, and can rub his mother because we’re living in her house. He says I’ll get this treatment in our own home but he doesn’t think it’s appropriate in his family home. Am I overreacting?

We're going through a rough patch. We've been arguing over the fact that he's choosing to play Fortnite every night instead of being a partner to me and a father to our children. We've gotten no where with "compromise" and talking/arguing about it. Well last night, I'd had enough. I snapped and asked him what he wants from me because at the minute, I feel like I'm just here to give him a roof. I do ALL childcare and housework, he works 8-4.30pm, comes home and does sweet FA. I'm sick of it. His response was that he doesn't care if our relationship finishes OR continues, he's just going with the flow. What do I do now?

PARENTING

So I recently noticed that my sons “friends” are coming to my house and their parents will leave and lock their doors and tell their kid they will be back in a few hours. The last time this happened I told his friend that his dad can’t just leave him at my house without speaking to me first because it happens alot. Now he isnt friends with my son anymore. it seems like all the friends he has had are always at my house for a reason other than being friends with my son. Toys, video games, food. When I tell them to play outside they leave my son behind. I feel angry about the situation because there is nothing I can do. Am I wrong for not wanting to watch these kids?

My daughter is a very happy, very bright 7 year old 2nd grader with a head full of dreams. Unfortunately, that means most of the time she is constantly losing things. Last year it was bad enough that she was losing a pair of gloves and a hat per week, if not more frequently. Where we live, most of the year you can't be outside for a few moments without those items, you'll suffer frostbite or worse. They've only been back to school for three weeks. She's already lost a pair of indoor shoes, a jacket, her agenda, a bunch of her supplies. This morning, I get an email from her teacher that she was in line for class without a jacket, but wearing gloves?! I did giver her gloves and a jacket when I dropped her off. I'm perplexed. I'm waiting for the day where I get a call from child services that I'm reported for never sending her to school with gloves or a jacket! How do I get her to be more mindful?

My son is in high school now and is having a small party this weekend. We keep all of our liquor in a cabinet in the basement. I would prefer not to move it because our house is not very big and I just don't really have any place else to store it. So I was thinking maybe getting those magnet baby locks for the cabinet? I don't want to get a real lock because I don't want to drill into the cabinet door. I know nothing is foolproof but I'm just looking for something to be a deterrent. Any suggestions?

So, my mind is kind of in a whirlwind right now. Last night my 6 year old son told me that he didn’t want to exist. He told me he wishes he were dead and wants to kill himself. I am just, at a loss. My and my husband both have history of mental illness, so I knew he would probably have trouble later on, but I wasn’t expecting it this young. I thought I had more time to talk to him about depression, and try to prepare him. I’ve contacted a few child psychologists this morning, but I haven’t heard back yet. What do I do in the meantime?

WORK

Some coworkers have a way of getting you to overstate. How do you tighten up the boundary like, very tightly?

Recently I'm feeling less motivated at work. I don't want to learn a new skill, Just hitting the office finishing the job and coming back. Does anyone else feels the same? How do you keep yourself motivated?

Recently, I left my job for a new one because the contract on my original job was coming to a close and there wasn't an opportunity for me to get extended/converted. I got an offer to join a new company after a relatively quick interview process. I am only into my first week so far but the job is not what I expected it to be. Now, im worried that if I left after only a week it would ruin my chances of finding a better one because future employers may find out or speak to my original contract job and ask why I left. Should I just stick with this new job for a year?

My boss isn't aware of my speech impediment as I would like to keep this information to myself. My boss really likes the quality of my work and has no other concerns but keeps bringing up my communication and how can I actually get to the next level as long as improve my communication. However, I know that due to my speech impediment I can't overcome my hesitation to speak in front of a group. Some days I feel like mentioning to my boss that I have a hearing issue which has impacted my speech and it should not be a deciding factor when considering promotion but at the same time I feel that by sharing this information I am letting them decide for me whether I can do certain stuff or not. I don't want anyone else to be making that decision for me. I work in a corporate world and communication skills are considered really important even if you are mediocre at your job, as long as you can bullshit convincingly. Should I share this with my boss?

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For The Love Of Teenagers - LNL 135

admin Saturday September 17, 2022

Jazz and Lubby talk raising teens.

Parenting Teens: 15 Tips to Raise Happy, Motivated Teenagers (daniel-wong.com)
https://www.daniel-wong.com/2021/12/04/parenting-teens/

Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships - MyHealthfinder | health.gov
https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/sexual-health/talk-your-kids-about-sex-and-healthy-relationships

Teens and drugs: 5 tips for talking with your kids - Harvard Health
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/teens-and-drugs-5-tips-for-talking-with-your-kids-2018081614565

17 Activities to do with Teenager (Family Activities with Teens) (moneyprodigy.com)
https://www.moneyprodigy.com/activities-to-do-with-teenager


Plus this weeks dive into Reddit

RELATIONSHIPS

I only found out I had a daughter three months ago when she reached out to me and a DNA test confirmed it. I broke up with her mother before I knew she was pregnant and she never reached out to me after that. So it was a bit of a shock. But we kept in touch, we saw each other a few times. A week ago she asked me if she could move in with me for a few months because her mom kicked her out. I told her I'd think about it but I honestly don't want her to move in. I don't know how to tell her no without hurting her feelings. How do I do that?

I was offered a baseball scholarship in high school. My girlfriend got pregnant and I turned it down so I could stay with her. She had no one and I couldn’t take care of her and the baby while in school. She passed away while she was in the first trimester. After that, I stayed in town and got a job selling motorcycles. I accepted that my life could have been a lot different but I made the right decision at the time. I now live with my current girlfriend and her/our daughter. I met her when she was three months pregnant and I’ve raised and cared for her alongside her mother. She may not be biologically mine, but she’s my baby. My girlfriend stays home with her while I work. I met my parents for lunch yesterday. We were chatting and I said something about my job. My dad got a little frustrated and said I wouldn’t have had to deal with it if I had gone to college on my scholarship. I told him no, I needed to stay here for what I thought was going to be my new family. My dad has always been furious that I turned the scholarship down to stay here. He said “you turned down the perfect life just to end up with a shit job and take care of another man’s child.” How do I get my father to accept I'm happy with my life as it is?

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation about “work crushes”. She mentioned that there’s a handsome guy at her work and that he looks middle eastern. Me: jokingly I say to her that maybe she has a thing for middle eastern guys. She said that she had briefly dated two guys like that. And that she finds that look to be very attractive etc. Then she almost subconsciously blurted out in passing that it’s her preferred type. I explained to her that it makes me feel like I am her second choice. (I am White btw). She goes on to say that she finds me attractive and I have other characteristics that she also loves about me etc. What do I do now?

It's a very complicated story how me and my husband got married. But to make a long story short, it's a lot of family issue, debts, and cultural things involved. So it's like I was forced to marry him. I get married at 23 years old, and my husband was 28 years old. It's been 3 years since our marriage (I'm 26 and he's 31 now) and what I respect about him is he never touch me or even tried to make me do things that I don't want. And this is including getting intimate. We never get intimate because I told him that I'm not ready for it, and he respect it. That respect slowly growing into me actually liking him, I just don't know but he looks so much better in my eyes these days than 3 years ago. But I just don't know how to tell him that I'm finally ready to be a wife that he wants. Not gonna lie I feel very ashamed of myself too for basically ignoring him all these years. Any advice on how I should approach this situation without embarrassing myself?

PARENTING

My son is turning ten in a few weeks and he wants to invite the entire class with the exception of one kid who has bullied him (and a few others) for the last two years. Part of me feels bad that this kid will be the only one not invited but their feelings aren’t really my problem, my priority is my son and this other child causes a lot of problems at school. I also don’t deal with conflict well and the last few times this child wasn’t invited to other parties, the father confront the parents and demands to know why. I know this all sounds a bit petty but is bad to exclude this other child?

My toddler has been going to a babysitter once a week for the past four months. We had a terrible experience trying to put her in two different daycares, but I absolutely love her babysitter. The babysitter has two young children of her own and also watches two other children. Recently my babysitter has made several comments about how poor she is. She moved to a beautiful, large house on plenty of land. She has two cars, gorgeous furnishings in her home, and certainly does not look poor upon first impression. She tried taking on even more children, so that at a certain point there were 8 kids:1 adult, but that didn't work out and she ended up firing a few of the kids (they started to bully her son). She's also been trying to frantically sell all of her old clothing online. My husband went to pick up the toddler a couple of weeks ago and said he saw the babysitter's SO sitting on the couch with bloodshot, teary eyes. She recently sent me a message and told me she's trying to get a weekend/evening job at a fast food joint, so we might have to start picking the kiddo up earlier in the day. Last week, I texted her multiple times while kiddo was in her care and she never answered me. I asked her at pickup if she got my texts and she said she hadn't paid her phone bill this month. Should I be concerned?

I (30M) have taken in 2 teen siblings (15F/17M). My brother is pretty chill, just games and does his own thing. My sister though, created a whole social media persona about how shitty her life is. I get ppl cope with stuff in different ways, but she goes on TikTok and basically pretends she is homeless, a self harmer, an addict, etc. Basically all very negative things. The reality is she has her own room, an iPhone 13, an electric scooter, we live in a good neighborhood and all her needs are met. I was angsty when I was a kid too I guess, but I can’t help but feel some type of way…like I’m not expecting gratitude from a kid, but pretending she has some dark, deep past for likes on socials is really hurting me. This hasn’t been easy, so I’m just trying to do the best I can. Oh, and therapy…yeah I tried that and she won’t go. How do I address this?

My baby boy seems to cry anytime I have him- I’m his mom- but perks up with everyone else- husband, MIL, etc. I have postpartum depression so he may be picking up on that but really wanting encouragement because my baby DOES NOT want me most of the time .How do I make him like me?

SEX

Recently found my(19M) missing stringer(tank top) in my girlfriend’s(21F) dorm room. It was my favorite stringer and looked everywhere for it; so I was pissed when I saw it there, and I fucking knew she wasn’t wearing it since it was super musty from my workout(I suffer from hyperhidrosis, so every inch of it was SOAKED through with sweat). So when I confronted her about it she told me that she likes to jerk off to it. She was really embarrassed about her kink(?). Is it that common? How can I make it more pleasurable for her(somehow)?

I, 19f, recently found out that my boyfriend, 24m, watches porn because of his search history on his laptop. We talked about it and agreed that it's not a big deal. Him watching porn doesn't really bother me. So one night, while he was at work, I decided to watch porn myself. I didn't think it was a big deal seeing as he did it himself a few days ago. But when he came home and saw that I'd been watching lesbian porn he was hurt and insulted. He was upset because he felt like it invalidated our relationship - I'm dating a man, not a woman. He felt like I was disrespecting him, as obviously lesbian sex is different from straight sex. He told me that I should be with a woman if that's what I want. The thing is, he already knew I was bi and that I liked women, so I don't know why it's such a shock. What is going on??

I'm dating this guy, he likes me a lot, but he has so many red flags. I don't see a long lasting relationship with him. The thing is, I'm almost 25 and still a virgin and I was thinking to stay with him a few months to learn stuff about sex. But I'm afraid I will get very attached and end up heartbroken. How do I have sex and not get attached?

I (M31) have been dating my gf (28) for 9 months. Initially, in the first few months, we had a lot of sex (once a day). We now live together and maybe have sex once or twice a week. She works from home and I don’t. I’ve noticed when I come home that her vibrator which she keeps on a shelf in our bedroom closet has been moved or used and now have started to see where it was versus where it is the next day. (Moved). I feel like when we have sex, we have great sex but she is not as up for it as much as she used to be or will say, ‘no not tonight’ or ‘not this morning’ but then once I leave for work she is clearly masturbating on her own. It’s really getting to me as I’m worried she’s no longer into our sex or me and I have found myself thinking about it a lot and checking to see if the vibrator was used when I get home. Am I being crazy?

WORK

I recently started a new job that has a ton of downtime. Which sounds nice until the busy season starts then we get crushed. However, as my work is time sensitive I can’t start whenever I want. It’s very much a do them as they come in type of job. Anyway, I feel like there are days if not weeks where I go in and do nothing for 8 hours then go home. Is this normal?

I am currently employed and my job will soon be reorganized. Some of the responsibilities will be taken away and a lot will be added. To put it simply, the unique one-man job I am doing will be only for a fraction the same. Can a company just do that and would I need to sign a new contract?

I was told I’m not my boss’s favorite because he doesn’t get along with girls who are “strong willed” and that’s why he’s only scheduled me one day a week. I guess advocating for myself that I need more hours than that to pay rent and bills makes me a strong willed bitch. Not only that he scheduled me to work the day I had court which I told him about when I got hired. I told him I could work any other day. I came in anyway and worked 3 hours after throwing up from nerves of having to represent myself in court against the man who sexually assaulted me and I’m still the bitch.. I don’t get it. I offered to come in Saturday when the other waitress got Covid and he said no, not even a thank you, nothing. Why am I hated?

I recently helped someone write a proposal, and did a significant amount of the work. I basically carved out the entire direction and validated it. I recently found out that the lead had taken my name off of it prior to submitting the proposal. What’s the best course of action here? HR? Manager? Both?

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